Helping Dogs Cope with Grief: What to Do When They Lose a Loved One

Grief is something we often associate with humans — the loss of a friend, a family member, or a beloved pet. But dogs grieve too. Whether they’ve lost a canine companion or a much-loved human, our dogs feel these absences deeply, and the effects can ripple through their behaviour and wellbeing.

As someone who works closely with dogs and their families, I’ve seen how bereavement can turn a once confident, happy dog into a shadow of themselves. And sadly, it’s something many owners aren’t prepared for.

Dogs and Death: What They Understand

Although dogs don’t understand death in quite the same way we do, they do recognise when something is final. If given the opportunity, they can process the presence of a dead companion — they will often sniff, pause, and seem to reflect in their own way. This helps provide closure.

However, what many dogs experience is not death, but disappearance. A companion dog is taken to the vet and never returns. A person leaves for hospital or hospice and is simply gone. This lack of closure can leave dogs confused, anxious, and distressed. They don’t know if the person or animal has died — only that they’re missing. This uncertainty can make grief even harder to process.

Whenever possible, giving a dog the chance to see or smell a deceased companion — whether human or animal — can help them begin to understand that their loved one isn’t just absent, but gone. Not every situation allows for this, but when it’s safe and appropriate, it can be one of the kindest things we do for a grieving dog.

Signs Your Dog Might Be Grieving

Grief can show up in many ways, and not all are immediately obvious. Some dogs become clingier, following their owners around the house. Others withdraw, showing less interest in play, food, or social interaction. You might see:

- Restlessness or difficulty settling

- Changes in appetite

- House soiling, even in previously house-trained dogs

- Increased vocalisation (whining, howling, barking)

- Heightened sensitivity to being left alone

It’s easy to mistake these behaviours as “naughty” or “attention-seeking” — but they’re often signs of emotional distress and loss.

How Can You Help?

Just like with people, there’s no quick fix for grief in dogs. But there are many gentle, thoughtful ways we can support them as they adjust.

1. Maintain Routine (But with Flexibility)

Routines give dogs a sense of security. Try to keep feeding, walks, and bedtime at the usual times — but also watch for signs that your dog needs a little extra comfort. Some dogs may need more rest, while others benefit from gentle distractions like enrichment games or scent work.

2. Create Comfort Through Familiarity

If your dog has lost a canine companion, don’t be too quick to wash beds or remove toys. Familiar smells can provide comfort. Similarly, if the loss was a person, leaving an item of clothing that still holds their scent can help ease the transition.

3. Don’t Overdo the Fussing

It’s natural to want to smother a grieving dog with love and reassurance — but be careful not to unintentionally reward anxious behaviours. Instead, offer calm companionship. Sit near them, speak gently, and let them come to you.

4. Use Scent and Sound to Soothe

I often suggest aromatherapy for grieving dogs — calming scents like lavender or chamomile can help ease anxiety when used safely (always check with a vet or qualified practitioner first). Soft background music or a heartbeat toy can also bring comfort, especially for dogs that have lost another pet in the home.

5. Prepare for Alone Time — Before It Becomes a Problem

One of the most overlooked issues after a bereavement is separation distress. If your dog loses their constant companion — whether that’s another dog or a person who was always home — they may suddenly find themselves alone in ways they’ve never experienced. This is why I believe in proactively teaching dogs that being alone is safe and temporary. Start with short absences and gradually build up. Use enrichment toys like stuffed Kongs or scatter feeding to keep them occupied. Practice calm goodbyes and relaxed returns. Sadly, all dogs (and people) will experience loss at some point. By building their confidence in being alone now, we can help prevent heartache and distress down the line.

6. Offer Social Opportunities — But Be Guided by Your Dog

Some dogs benefit from having a few calm, familiar playdates to lift their spirits. Others need more quiet time to process. If your dog enjoys company, invite a trusted canine friend over for a gentle walk or garden visit. But don’t force it — grief isn’t something we can rush.

When to Get Help

If your dog’s behaviour has changed significantly and doesn’t seem to be improving after a few weeks, it may be time to seek support. Grief can sometimes tip into generalised anxiety, or trigger behaviour struggles that need professional input. I work with many dogs experiencing emotional distress — and with the right support, they can find their way through. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Final Thoughts

Dogs may not hold beliefs about death in the way humans do, but they are not oblivious to it. They recognise absence. They notice silence. And when a loved one simply vanishes, they feel that something is deeply wrong. Whenever possible, give your dog a chance to understand. Let them see or smell their companion after death. Allow them time to process, grieve, and adjust. And most importantly, meet their grief with patience, stability, and understanding. Our dogs rely on us not just for food and exercise — but for emotional safety too.

💬 If your dog is struggling after a loss, or you’re concerned about how they’ll cope in the future, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help.